After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry my hands just texted you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
