i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Mom said you looked used
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
