And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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