is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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