I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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