You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
