I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he wants to bone in the snuggie
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
