do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
