Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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