used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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