Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
