Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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