I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
