Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
