that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
