I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
