Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
