I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
