You're my little dorito
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
