There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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