he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you told grandpa to call you daddy
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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