Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
