WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
