he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
