ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
