If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
