Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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