I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
