i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
