I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
pray to the hookup gods
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
