Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
