I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
