erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
