I think my fart just growled at me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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