i would punch a child for taco bell
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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