"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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