But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
