Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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