He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
