And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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