I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
