we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
