dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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