I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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