So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
