Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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