it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
