Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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