How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
