he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
