South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
