I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
